Alpacananas
by alpacalover101
Summary: This is a story of alpacas. Thank you for reading it! Please review it and tell us what you think. :


Hello there this is a story about One Direction based on how we see them and that is alpacas. Review and let us know what you think. :)

P.S. This is a story made by 3 people. Enjoy!

**Chapter 1**

Lyle's POV

It was a sunny, beautiful day in Old Layneshire. The people were gardening, their children running around, and all the alpacas were grazing. I was really hungry, so I think I ate a lot more than most of the other alpacas around me. They said it was okay, though, since I was a pubescent alpaca. I looked up every now and then to see Anita pronking with her friends.

I should tell you that pronking is the word for the alpaca's way of jumping. You can search it on Google—not that I would know what that is.

Anita was pronking and visiting with her friends Svetlana and Jorunn. Svetlana was a white alpaca with dark black eyes. Her fur was soft and long and the wind ruffled it like a gentle hand. Jorunn was cool. She had extremely dark brown fur that was very poofy. She had a darker face and brown eyes. But Anita was like the alpaca goddess. She had a chocolate brown coat with scattered white spots. On her face she had a white spot around her two shiny, dark brown eyes and a black muzzle. She was stunningly beautiful.

_Okay, dude, you got this. Just go talk to her. She's an alpaca, too, _I told myself while non-creepily staring at Anita. I walked sheepishly towards her and lowered my head as I did so. She looked up and gave me a nice smile as she chewed her grass with spit gracefully drooling out of her mouth.

"Hey, Lyle," she said to me.

"H-h-hey, Anita," I said nervously. She and her friends giggled. "Pretty good grass today, huh?"

"Uh, yeah," she said with a laugh. "It's awesome."

I looked down at the ground and kicked my left hoof around on the grass. "Yeah," I laughed nonchalantly. "They must've put some new fertilizer in it or something." An awkward pause ensued. Her friends continued grazing and she looked at me, waiting for me to speak.

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Lyle."

"Wait, hang on. Okay, so there's this pasture in Brooksville and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to pronk over there sometime? Their grass is like, way better," I said nervously and let out a deranged chuckle.

Anita looked back up at me. "Oh, well, that actually sounds really nice! I'd love to! Does this afternoon work?"

"Ummm yeah that would be great," I replied. I was actually more excited than I seemed. Stuff like this just doesn't really happen to me that often. I mean, here's this beautiful alpaca right in front of me who's wanting to go on date with a lonely little alpaca. I realized that I had been daydreaming for almost a minute and Anita was awkwardly staring at me.

"Ohh sorry," I said.

"No problem," Anita replied. "So what time would you want to head on over there?"

Whoa, this was getting intense. I was going to go on an actual date with an actual girl. This. was. major. I took a couple deep breaths without trying to seem weird. "Well I have a couple of things to do with my sister, Misa this afternoon so maybe tonight?" I shyly suggested.

"Yeah how about around 6 tonight?" Anita said.

"Good idea because then the farmer will have already checked in on us," I said. The farmer was not someone who you wanted to mess with. I can remember one time a couple of years back he found out an alpaca had escaped from the pasture and he shipped him off to another farm. Our farmer's name was Jim and he's a great guy and all, just not someone to have on your bad side. Shoot I'm daydreaming again, okay back to reality.

"Alright then I guess I'll see you tonight Lyle," Anita gave me big grin and pronked back over to her friends.

I could already tell this was going to be a great night. Now where was Misa, I still had to help her.

**Chapter 2**

Lyle's POV

I was kinda terrified for my date with Anita. I mean, she probably won't even show up. My other alpaca friend, Sparry, said that she's done that before. I decided that I had to be in tip top shape for this goddess alpaca shape. I brushed my fur out by rubbing against a bush or two. I think Anita saw me doing it, but whatever. I told her I had lost my pet leaf in the brush. But, whatever.

My pet leaf's name is Perry. Perry the Pet Leaf. I know it's confusing what with me having a friend named _Sparry_, but she doesn't appear much in this story, so don't lose too much sleep over it.

I looked up at Anita with a leaf dangling from my mouth as I mumbled, "Found him—I mean, it. Found it." She laughed. Hot damn, she was a fly girl. I looked up at the clock. "Bananas. It's almost 6." I walked over to the water trough so I could clean my mouth a little bit. Swish swish swishy swish swish. Ahh, refreshing. I looked at the rearview mirror in the old truck to see if I looked alright. I gave myself a wink and a nod before trotting off to greet Anita. She was with Svetlana and Jorunn.

Jorunn looked at me, then at my feet, then back up at my face. "Daaaayummmmmm, Lyle, you look _good_," she said. "I agree," Svetlana joined in.

"Thanks, ladies. How are you on this fine evening?" I asked.

All three of them laughed simultaneously. "We're great, thanks. You?" Anita replied.

"I'm good. Well, uh, should we go, Anita?"

She trotted to my side eagerly and we took off into the glorious sunset. But then...it happened. I could hear Jim's heavy footsteps trodding through the dirt. He began calling our names and we looked at each other, panicked. "What do we do now?" Anita asked frightenedly.

I looked around as if I would find some magical object to throw to distract Jim. Bingo. I found his wife's old Bingo set lying next to a big oak tree. I threw it above the treetop, hoping it would land behind him so he would change course. The footsteps stopped. Relieved, Anita and I walked a little faster just so we could make it to Brooksville in time. Jim's footsteps began yet again. "Bananas. I forgot that Jim has vampire-like senses! He can track our scent even past Brooksville. We can't go there or he'll hurt the other alpacas," I said.

I could see the fear in Anita's eyes and she was breathing heavily. "Well, what do we do, Lyle?"

"J-j-just hang on, I'm thinking!" I paused a moment. "I've got it! Get on my back!"

"What?" Anita asked.

"Just do it!" She climbed on hesitantly. I hadn't spread my wings for the longest time, so I was hoping they still worked. I took a deep breath and began to sing. "I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly!" It didn't work. I tried again and it still didn't work. "Fourth time's the charm, right?" I said hopefully as I let out a nervous laugh. I sang one last time, it was such a _High School Musical_ moment. I looked into the sky and closed my eyes as I sang loud. Yes, finally! My wings spread out as tufts of fur flew everywhere. I began pronking, getting faster and faster until I lifted off the ground. I could feel Anita's bony knees digging into my lanky neck. I winced, but I kept going. When alpacas fly, their scent can't be tracked. We eventually landed safely in Brooksville.

Anita climbed off my back gently, but still fell to the ground. She shook the dirt off her back and looked around. "Wow," she said. "This...this is beautiful." She looked over at me and smiled. She looked back at the sun, but I continued to watch her. She bent down and plucked a piece of grass and ate it.

Anita's POV

I'll be honest, listen to Lyle's crackly voice sing was an awkward time, but once we made it to Brooksville, I forgot all about it. I leaned down and plucked some grass. Lyle did the same, but he was staring at me, as if he were waiting for me to make the next move. I swallowed my food and looked over at him. "So, like, what's up?" I asked. I didn't know what else to say, he was such an awkward alpaca.

He laughed. Not too awkward. "I am eating grass. Hey, there's this really cool forest down there and it's really pretty at night. You can see the stars through the trees and if you go to the right spot, you can see the alpaca constellation. I don't remember what it's called, though."

"Alpacus Major, right?" I replied.

"Yeah, that's it! Do you like science?"

"Well, Jim left a poster of space in the barn for some reason and I took it into my corner. It's really cool, you should see it."

"That's pretty neat. Should we go down there? To the forest?" he asked me.

"Yep! Let's go!"

We began walking down a steep hill with tall, thick grass. I slipped and almost fell and Lyle came hurrying to my side. He was actually really sweet, once you got to know him a little better. We were about halfway down the hill when Lyle disappeared from my side and I heard a thud followed by the grass crinkling. I turned to see Lyle tumbling down the hill. He started shouting for help. "Anita! Help me, I'm falling and I can't get up!" I followed him down the hill, nearly pronking now, and ran in front of him so he wouldn't roll any further.

**Chapter 3**

Lyle's POV

As I was tumbling down the hill like a barrel I felt something hard stop me. I looked up to find Anita staring at me breathless. "Whew that was a close one," I said.

"You got that right," replied Anita.

I noticed that her gorgeous fur was all ruffled up from trying to catch me. I realized that she must have almost slipped too.

"Awwww shoot," I said.

"What's wrong Lyle?" Anita asked.

"Well it's just that I think I lost Perry when I was rolling down the hill," I said. Perry had been my pet for some time now and he was one of my best friends. Even though he can't respond or anything I really enjoyed that little Pet Leaf. He was just a great friend and we always played UNO together. We always had such a great time playing that game. He was so excited when he got to yell, "UNO!" I always lost.

"Lyle...I'm so sorry. I had no idea..." she sympathized.

"It's okay," I replied. "Don't worry about it. After all, I have you."

Her eyes widened and she looked down at the ground, thinking of something to say. I saw her smile a little bit to herself. "Um...thanks," she replied. That was awkward. I'm such an awkward paca.

We continued walking down the hill towards the forest, but this time we were a little more careful about it. When we reached the forest, the sky was almost completely black except for the stars and the illuminated moon. Anita drew closer to me. I assumed she was a little afraid of the dark which was comforting to me since I sleep with a night light and a stuffed human. Now, I know what you're thinking when you see the words _stuffed human._ How do you think I feel when I see _stuffed animal? _Exactly. As I was saying, I liked the fact that she was scared, too.

As we got near the middle of the forest we stopped and watched the stars. While Anita wasn't looking I walked quietly over to a nearby rock and pulled a guitar out from behind it. I had hid it there a long time ago when I planned to bring her there earlier. I sat down and propped the guitar on my back legs, which were now spread in front of me. To help you visualize this, picture a human sitting on the ground with their legs laying in front of them and a guitar on their lap. I had my left hand reaced over the neck of the guitar and I strummed it with my right hand. I played "Poop Goes the Weasel," a childhood favorite. She looked over as I started to play and smiled. I guess she knew the words because about halfway through the song, she started to sing along. She had a _gorgeous_ voice. And her fart noises...perfect.

When the song was over, an enchanting silence grew throughout the forest. It was so quiet, I could hear leaves rustling in the wind. "Well," I broke the silence. "Should we go back?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," she replied.

Anita's POV

We started to make our way out of the tree-filled forest and up the hill. Carefully, of course. Once we had made it to the top we stopped to gaze at the stars one more time. When we were done, we looked at each other and I stared into Lyle's big black eyes. I had never noticed before, but they were almost like a matte black. That sounds kind of gross, but that's what they looked like! He began to lean in and I found myself leaning in, too. We continued to lean in until his neck wrapped around mine. It was like an intertwined fur pretzel of warmth, kindess, and some awkwardness on his part.

His head was inches from mine. I looked down at his split lips, it seemed like they had some residue from spitting so much. But, whatever. I couldn't decide wether or not to back away. Awkward. Not that I could, though, his neck was wrapped around mine like, super tangled. But, whatever.

I felt his neck start to reverse-wrap to untagle it from mine. Ummm that was pretty nice I guess he wasn't that bad after all.

Lyle's POV

As our necks unwound I noticed that Anita was smiling and she seemed genuinely happy. We started to walk deeper into the forest and I noticed a pear tree. "Hey look Anita it's a Peruvian pear tree!" I absolutely love pears!

"I think that's a Bradford pear tree" replied Anita.

"I beg to differ I think it's a Peruvian" I said.

"Hey, man, why are you doing this to me? It's _obviously_ a Bradford!" Anita defended.

"It's _Peruvian,_" I mumbled under my breah. "Okay, it doesn't matter."

"I still think it's Bradford. But, whatever," she said.

"Sorry. Wanna do that again sometime?"

"Go to the forest?" Anita asked. "I have a better place to go."

I laughed. "I doubt that. That was Brooksville. Do you know how many alpacas live there? Tons. It's crazy."

"This place...has an emu. You can't beat that."

I jumped back in shock, my eyes widening. "AN EMU? AHHHHHHHHHHHH I FREAKING LOVE EMUS!" I yelled.

When we made it to the pasture, Misa was waiting for me. She looked worried. "Hey, Misa, what's up?"

"Uh, you! Jim was looking everywhere for you guys! He's SO mad!" Misa said.

Anita hurriedly kissed my cheek and trotted off quietly to her stall. I watched her and became so entranced that I didn't even notice that Misa had climbed up into the tree and was now looking out for Jim with her binolculars. She didn't do this often, but she was really good at it. Just a moment later, I heard her screaming. "RUN, LYLE, RUN!" Jim was on the prowl. I pronked as fast as I could and ran into the first stall available. I huddled in the corner and laid there completely silent. Jim stomped into the barn. "Alright, you little BRATS! Where is he?"

Jorunn stood up and looked around. "Who?" she asked groggily.

"That awkward Lyle kid," Jim replied.

"He's sleeping, isn't he?" Sparry said out of nowhere. Gosh, so random, Sparry.

"Nah. I done know he ain't around here," Jim said.

Jim was facing away from Svetlana's stall now, and she crept in quietly. She noticed me right away and whispered, "Lyle? Where were you?" I shushed her.

"He's sleeping," Jorunn said.

Jim stormed out of the barn.

**Chapter 4**

Lyle's POV

"Thanks guys that was a close one," I said.

"Hey don't worry about it," replied Jorunn.

I walked back to my stretch of pasture and slowly began munching on some grass. I couldn't help but wonder where Anita was now. I guess I was kinda creeping on her a little bit. When I finished my delicious grass I decided to just lay out and wait for the stars to come out. After a couple of hours they finally appeared and began twinkling. I tried to look for Alpacus Major but I couldn't find it. Oh bananas I really wanted to see that darn constellation. I noticed a little leaf out of the corner of my eye and I realized that it was Perry. YESSS! Perry! I had missed him so much! "Hey buddy let's go play some UNO," I said. I don't even know why I tried because that little scamp always beat me. He fluttered over to me like a butterfly, except not. We played UNO about 14 times and decided it was time to call it a day. Perry joined his family back in the tree and I continued my search for Anita.

I walked into the barn and didn't hear anything. "Anita?" I called out. No answer. "Bananas." I walked out of the barn and into the pasture. I couldn't see her, but I called her name. "Anita! Where are you?" The alpacas grazing all looked to the center of the pasture. I walked over there to see what they were looking at. Anita was laying on the ground, in a fancy pose. She was looking off into the distance where I saw Bayn. He was like the jock alpaca. He was good-looking and he had the _fluffiest_ fur. Ever. It was insanely fluffy! I asked Svetlana, who was standing nearby, what was going on.

"So, like, she walks in here and sees Bayn and she, like, totally freaked out. She's never liked him before, I don't know. It's whatever. But anyway, she went up to him and handed him a sketchbook and said, 'Draw me like one of your French alpacas.' Like, what? What does that even mean? He totally sucks at art unlike Jack. But it doesn't matter. So yeah, he like, was all like, 'Yeah, baby, sure.' Um, baby? No. So, yeah. I don't even know."

My heart was pounding. She liked _Bayn_ now? He was a jerk! Plus, it's stupid of her to say "French alpacas" considering we don't even have any French alpacas here! What the heck! That's so awkward.

When Bayn finished his "art" I went over to say hi to Anita. "Hey, Anita."

She jumped. Busted. "Oh, hey, Lyle! What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said defensively. "Why would you just assume something's wrong? What's wrong with _you?_ Gosh, alpacas are so awkward sometimes! You know what, we're done! DONE!" I began to walk away, immediately regretting what I had said.

"Excuse me?" Anita said. "We were never together, you freak." She started to chase after me. "Lyle! Gosh, you stupid alpaca, listen to me!" I stopped and turned around. "Thanks. Okay, so the forest thing didn't work out very well and you hate the fact that I'm wrong about the Bradford pear tree, but can't you just get over it?"

"That's not what I'm upset about. If I were upset...which I'm not. BUT if I were, that's not what I would be. Okay?" I replied.

Anita shook her head. "Yeah, okay. I still think you don't want to admit that you're wrong. But, whatever." I turned back around and continued walking. "Lyle, come on!"

"What, Anita? What do you want?" I snapped. _Whoa, man, you gotta watch your tone. _"I mean, like, yeah?"

"Can I come with you?" That was a surprise.

"Yeah, sure. Let's go to that other pasture you were talking about!"

"Emu Farms? YES! Thank you! Let's go!" Anita ran off ahead of me and I followed. When we got passed the forest of Brooksville, we slowed down to a walk.

"Sorry," I mumbled to Anita.

"What?"

"I think it was a Bradford tree. I used to raise trees as a young alpaca," I said. "But I'm sorry for like, fighting about it."

She pushed her head back which made several fat lines visible. "Ohmygawd. What kind of trees did you grow?"

"I dunno.. I'll tell you some other time.. I.. I don't want to talk about it.. It brings back memories.."

"Ummmmm. Okay? You can talk to me whenever you need to, Lyle. It's no big deal."She smiled at me compassionately, "But, like, don't think we can talk about EVERYTHING. I don't want to know about those dorky rainbow socks you keep under your straw."

Bananas! She had a point. I thought no one knew about those..

"Let's just get to this emu farm." I said, to quickly avoid the subject of my precious rainbow socks.

"Yeah! Can we fly there! I do love flying with you." Anita was super energetic for this flight! It's as if she had never known a flying alpaca before me..

"Let's just pronk for a while. Then at the river we can make flight."

"Oh good!" She smiled, "I can't wait!"

We walked for what seemed like a long time before we reached the river. We didn't say anything. Now that she knew about my rainbow socks, I just felt awkward talking to her. I decided to break the silence by laughing hysterically. I laughed to hard, though, because just seconds later I was tumbling down that pesky hill again. But this time, Anita didn't chase after me, she tumbled with me. We laughed all the way down the hill until we collided into each other. I quickly stood up to avoid any awkward situations and shook the dirt off my back.

"Wooo! That was awesome!" Anita exclaimed.

I laughed. "It was!" I looked around on the ground and found a branch from a bush with flowers budding off of it. I stuck one end under my hoof and twisted the other end around with my mouth to make a crown. I placed it gently on Anita's head and smiled. "Beautiful," I said.

She sneezed in my face and I jumped back. "What the llama?"

"Bananas," she mumbled to herself. "I'm so sorry! Ew that's so embarrassing!"

"It's alright," I assured her. "Did you just say bananas?"

She fluttered her eyelids rapidly and a look of pain came over her face.


End file.
